Again

I don’t know what I'm doing, I just know what I'm doing and I hope the best decision, because I'm really tired of failed decisions. Already have time to go through the minds of others isn’t advancing much, so I decided to go through my head for a change ... I hope this time is different.

During my life I tried to release without success, tried to leave the shackles of others unsuccessfully tried to be myself, without success ... So many attempts, no results ... Maybe I was not trying hard enough, or maybe just was not the right time to have successful attempts. The truth is I do not know anything and I'm not sure of anything, but who has? Nothing is guaranteed, nothing is safe at any time the strongest structure can collapse like a house of straw. Anytime I can be someone else, at any time I can be almost unrecognizable. Actually, this is what some people expect of me, but as nothing is guaranteed ...

  Maybe one day I'll learn, maybe one day I finally make what people want me to be. But for now, I'm not well, for now I decided not to live to please others, because when the time comes to face more powerful structures collapsing, I'll be alone. And that's why I decided alone to do what is best for me, being a better person for me and mainly live for me. It is true that I will not please some people, it is true that I will cause dissatisfaction and judgments to the mountains, but I decided not to let anything else that be a deterrent. I decided to fight for me, I decided to do the best for me. For the hundredth time in my life I have a plan without warranty, and for the hundredth time my only allies are the hope and determination. Probably these two will always be my best friends. They are the ones with which I can really tell.

Sunday

Today I found myself in a mental question: does anyone besides some friends, read this blog? I hope so, because otherwise I'm talking to anyone during that time. I never cared if someone actually read it or not, because the initial idea was to expose some things here that I write, but today, this question seemed understandable. Is anyone there?
Publishing a book is not an easy thing, especially in the country where I live, and this was also another reason for the creation of the blog: publishing my creations without complications, without charging anything from anybody, and without charging me too. The blog is something that comforts me, a way to vent or just want to tell you something right, but an outburst is only a relief when someone is listening, which in my case I do not know if it happens. Someone?
Anyway, today is Sunday, one of those lazy days of extreme and total boredom, especially for those who came out on Friday and Saturday. Sunday comes as a cold water bath in what all that the weekend is: fun, relaxing, and there are what are the other things you do on your weekend. Anyway, Sunday is the midnight clock that turns into a pumpkin carriage, the beautiful dress in rags and no problems at all times. For those without a bachelor is a little better, you know, you're seeing filminhos with your sweetie, etc etc.. Until I've had some good Sunday, mostly with my friends, but most of my life, Sundays were always a pain. What a terrible burden to carry Sunday.
Oh oh, I do not have anything important to say today and I'm artistically blocked, I can only say that things are a bit crazy to me at the moment and I'm taking a direction I never thought I would take. But that's the fun of life is not? A great surprise all the time. Sometimes good, sometimes bad, but always surprises. And I'm trying to unravel the mysteries that are coming to me (not that I have no choice, but whatever), however I have some crazy crises despair from time to time, I'm going. Slowly I'm getting the hang of. In fact, the speed depends on the point of view of each ... Just know that tomorrow is moving day, so I guess I better try to sleep.
If anyone out there, good evening to you person! : D

Explosion

Don't think I'm weak

because I'm not.

Don't think I'll do whatever you want

because I will not.

Don't think I'll hear all quiet

because my patience is over.

Don't think I'll give

because I've never been one to go.

My nails are painted red

and I'm out half my hair.

But I do not regret anything.

This is the moment the only thing I need to be, is determined.

This is the moment I leave all the settings back.

This is the moment I do not know anything more.

The challenge is to do this, my best time.

The challenge is to forget everything that happened

at least one time.

It's easy to end it all

but having to start from scratch can make you crazy.

Who is weak, do not.

Who has the courage, he insists.

Life is this, there is no other way.

You have to do what needs

you have to be the master of your life.

Wishes

I dreamed of a magnificent place. In that place, everything was golden sun and even rain betrayed the color of all that light ... The flowers were so red and smelled of joy, for every place I looked I felt just a feeling: euphoria. And as I walked those streets, flashed my freckles, my dress gave me the perfect move and my eyes were brown as a lit as never before. And for the first time I had my mind and calm for the first time I smiled constantly, for the first time I behaved as before, the first time I saw a color of hope and also a color of birth. Birth of what I've waited for so long, I finally saw my wishes fulfilled, all of them in that place so perfectly nonexistent.

My dreams are creative and cause many things in me. I have nightmares and sweet dreams, but they all are always crisp and bring meaning I need to receive. I'm not talking about anything supernatural, I'm talking about freedom of interpretation, I am very good at it, as I am good at dreaming. I'm away, I walk places and ways that I never saw but one day hope to see at least similar. It's as if my mind gives me advice and I take them very seriously. I need a lot of things right now, from inner peace, until a new love, but most times you do not realize even half of desires, unfortunately. However, I believe that when you want with all firmness and feeling, these desires is likely to be realized. And when you put power of words with effort, those desires materialize in front of you and I believe it wholeheartedly. I've done my desires, now just need the effort. I have no time to lose.

I assert

Now that I have been challenged

I will show my worth.

I'll work, I will dedicate myself

I will pursue my dreams,

I assert

I'll let everyone dizzy.

I never thought I would take a sweep of these

But what does not kill, strengthens.

Can I go over a thousand miles or so and quit.

I will not stop until you get where my happiness begins.

I assert,

tired of talking.

If money is the anthem of the same success

for the first time, I'll start decorating.

I'll give all my blood, sweat and love

I'll make a witch or a miracle.

And after reaching the top, I sit and watch all hysteria

Because it will be an outcry

after all begin to see the invasion green in my life.

Well now I've been challenged, it's for real.

I finally got to understand

nobody can help you to be happy, not you.

And now, I will enforce.

Love

 

 

Not that I myself have never risked this trip, I've ventured yes, I ventured a few times. And do not give me that old right to know what love is, because there is no exact definition of what love is, you just feel, period. In different ways from person to person, but everyone feels part of being human. Who has never felt love of life, it sure is a moon rock brought by Apollo 18.

It's funny at first when you begin to feel the palpitations the 1st, the first absence of air, the first butterflies in your stomach ... The first times are always the best, is the discovery of a new world and all the expectations it brings. Sometimes the expectations are wrong, but who cares? The beginning is the beginning. And we can be new beginnings as many times as you want Tues.

Having a relationship is not easy, but it is much more difficult when there is one. Everyone wants to be loved. No matter the way. Life is short and we are clichés to the point of admitting that we do not want to spend time away from the great love of our lives. And that's the honest truth.

Because people spend so much time with frills and meaningless things? And I include myself in this, because the truth is that sometimes I have to pay violent sermons, so I stop complaining, so I lift your head and continue. Because without hope, we are all dead and hollow inside. And that's why I'm still keeping my alive, no matter what, no matter how many times I have to revive her, she is always here.

In our present time, we see many separations, terminations, divorces (I saw in my family, more than twice), which is sometimes as if they were telling us, "Hey, look at everything and think this shit cause twice before falling for that. Love? Love is an illusion, and our century is simply taking the mask of pure falsehood that is the concept of love. " But this is not true, because in the past also separated couples. If separated when betrayed, if separated when love was over, parted when they could not keep the passion alive side by side of love. The difference is that they were arrested. Attached to debris, trapped the truth shoved in their faces every day that failed, and, worse, stuck in mutual misery and often further increasing the misery of one another. So you want to know something? With all troubles, I prefer that our century, because at least everyone is free to start, everyone is free to change, everyone is free to try as many times as they want. We are free to live our lives the way we please and that is why no one has right to blame anyone for your unhappiness if you made the choice to leave his life in the hands of another person. Your life is yours, Take it to face what you face if you want to be happy. Because only you can build your happiness. And if you have love, then you are halfway there.

Weakness

 

Since that jerk broke up with me

I see no grace at all and I do not know what to do.

Not that I miss him

I just do not know being single

and I have no talent to be.

I have no talent for party girl,

only know how to dance together

And it works for me "go get a beer with the guys"

I do not drink and I like to have my friends working right.

I am dependent on this point

because my life is half standing when I'm not a guy.

I don’t like to be the kind of girl

which is tied with the guy.

But I can’t be alone.

All I can be me when I am loved.

I like to stay home

watching a movie and making out

and then, I just want to lock the bedroom door.

I want to walk hand in hand

I want to go to the movies

and be kissed and cuddled.

I want to talk serious and funny

I want to be loved.

Like my father,

I don’t run alone.

And just like so many other people

I only fully realized

When I look to the side and see my face.

Come

I Have been through a lot.

But today, I'll have fun

fall into a world of fun where I can not stop smiling.

I'll go crazy, delirious, melt ...

The most important thing is that I'll enjoy my life

Because we only have one

And this one, I want you.

The night has no owner and no time to end

And now I have no limits and no reason to stop.

Kiss me, do what you want from me

are always

Stand with me at the present time.

No matter how long it lasts

What matters is doing this so long we have in mind.

You think I'm the problem?

You think I'm crazy and every time I look, your mind reminds you.

I do not mind dear.

Because tonight I'm all I want to be

I'm all or nothing

I'm just for you.

And that's all we could want.

Was not right

Running so long

Without direction, following the sound of wind.

My bare feet could not but step on so many thorns

because when they pierced the wounds were made ​​elsewhere.

I still can’t stop to breathe

because the more I try, unless I'm close.

I was trying to do everything right

but the more I tried, the less was near.

I have already passed the stage of the fall and my landing was not in place.

Now I'm looking for so many things at once

but the more I try, unless I'm close.

I've been dreaming for so long

I was lost in the darkness, thinking it was flash.

I was so close to the cliff, thinking it was just a hole where the wind blew

and when I finally fell, many things began to unfold ...

My downfall was the result of the inevitable

I had to fall, because the more I tried to hold on to all those illusions

least was near, what he thought was right.

Do not know what was

a force pulling me true

or something protecting me from evil.

In the end, I think my eyes were just opening

and the pain of seeing everything without makeup for the first time

caused me away more than he thought was right.

Because now I see,

I see things the real way

And I prefer to do wrong to get along with new

what all I thought was right.

I'm tired

You know when you try to make things less wrong possible, as perfect as possible, but can not? You know when you give it your all, part of your personality changes, they try hard as he can turn almost a robot, but still is not enough? I know.

As much as I always try, I can never please everyone, as much as I always try to always do something to disrupt. I do not know why I do not give a time trying to please people, do not bother trying, trying to be invisible to people who do not like people, because nothing this good ever. And worse than not feel welcome in a place, it does not feel welcome in a place where would feel normal.

Worse than not being able to help you, you have conditions and yet do nothing. Selfishness kills around me a little more each day. If anyone has a ticket to a world where there is no rot, I go on line to buy. I'm not perfect, but it would be nice if people around me accept this fact and stop criticizing me all the time, it would be nice if they stopped wanting to change me forever and ever and ever. It would be nice if people around me to let me live my way a bit for a change. It would be nice if all of them could explode into a thousand pieces in the same way as they do to me often.

I'm tired of everything having to be ever so hard, I'm tired of having to walk on eggshells because people are too cool and has more to do than creating case with every detail insignificant. I'm tired of these same people never recognize the details right. Can I push the button "stop" now? Because I'm really exhausted.

Memories Sudden

I miss my room. Of all the changes I've had this year, this was not my favorite. I miss waking up and look around and realize I'm alone, I miss waking up slowly, I miss the silence when I woke up. As much as I have always divided my room with my brothers, but still ... When I awoke, they were still sleeping or had agreed and were outside the room, so I had my moment of privacy this morning or afternoon sometimes. I miss it. After I moved, I had to move to accept the people around me when I wake up. People awake, talking and looking at me sometimes. What's worse, talking to me.I hate talking about when I wake up, to be honest, neither my voice come out right. I like to wake up, curl up in bed, think of something, smile, hear the music from my first day and then yes, get up and start the day. I do not like when I wake up the audience, it makes me extremely angry. Actually I do not like audience by the time I take a shower and take my first sip of coffee to become affordable again. I do miss having a room.

When I was a kid, I got up and went straight to embrace my mother. Hung from it, a half hour, a virtual extension of the bed. It was funny. I said nothing, and neither she, she hoped I "get back to my body" and start acting normal again. It was like this all day. Who does it with her right now is my younger brother, are very similar in this aspect of "newly agreed."

Sometimes life leads us in unexpected ways. Sometimes life forces us to miss certain things that we used to. Not that there's always a reason things happen, and also not all change is always good, sometimes things just happen, without any important reason, or just happen as a consequence of other changes, and perhaps these are the real changes important. Anyway, everything is a matter of choice and everything is a matter of custom. If we were accustomed to it, we can get used to it. As much as I complain about all the detail possible in the beginning, I always end up leaving my optimism prevail in the end, thinking positive about the new thing is in my life. Or, think again that nothing is permanent.

Water

It's raining

and the rain always brings me to the same places.

Different paths, the same answers

up the same story, feeling the same weight in the back.

You want revelations

or you just want to tear hearts?

You want me to run in the rain for you

or you're finally ready to hear all those things I always wanted to tell you?

This is your time to choose.

It's raining

and the responses are always in the water.

Water that emerges from me all that I want to run away.

Clean water that ends up leaving me so many truths exposed.

Water brings me the right answers.

The wind is messing up my hair

but today, I will not close the window.

Today, I'll just be part of the environment.

Today, I'll let the rain take me to the new places that popped into my mind.

Fly

Today, looking out the airplane window, I wondered if dying is like that: fly, fly and fly until you find a cloud to be comfortable enough. Probably not so, the fact is that the plane went through a lot of clouds and took me to many thoughts.

It is so liberating to be up there, it seems that nothing can get you, it seems nothing can stop you or hurt you or stop you from whatever you want to do ... It seems so surreal ... As a human being may have created something so wonderful just to make life easier for people? I do not believe it was for that reason alone, I'm the type of person who tends to think that there is always a main reason behind the obvious thing ... It is true that I am also a suspicious person, but is not always a bad suspicion, sometimes it's just my investigative spirit and inventive taking care of me. And I'm sure this is not something bad.

There are many things I want to do before you die, even many, the question is do I have to start doing them now, or simply trying to get ... Most of the stuff is not as easy as it seems and the more we grow, the more you realize it. But that is no reason to stop trying, it's just a challenge, something you urging to gather all their forces possible and then perform the feat impossible. There's a lot we think is impossible, but it's just impossible to resurrect. Sometimes I believe that in a time or it will be impossible, I mean, who can say precisely the limit of human evolution?

For me, there are no limits when it comes to realize my dreams. My only rules are to be true to myself and not to use or climb over anyone to get what I want. The rest is worth. Is paying the right to enjoy my life and make it the best, is worth daring to innovate every day, whichever is the determination, whichever is the thirst for freedom, is worth paying. Just is not worth not doing anything I want to do.

Shuttle

As a shuttle:

Play back and play over here.

The hands of many bounces

but nobody really wants to hold.

As a shuttle

within a game that is required to play.

The game is not it

but they could use it to play.

As a shuttle

that as much jump, has lost most of their feathers

Is already dirty, worn and abraded.

But it does not matter pros players

what matters is playing.

As a shuttle:

fly flies back and forth to

but can never land.

always running

and always hoping it lands somewhere

But she can never stop.

She can never stop

Why the toys had no choice

They exist only to satisfy their owners bored

Their owners useless and selfish

Their owners stupid

who think that life is just play.