Balance

Acting on the sly? I've been this way before? Maybe, but the few times in life ... Lately I've done it more than normal ... I'm taking seriously this business of private life. There's so much more that I do not talk with almost anyone ... My colleagues became friends, friends became my best friends ... Maybe it's guilt that year, in which I learned to live alone and do not stop doing certain things by being alone, perhaps because of my desconfiômetro be turned on full force, perhaps because I have become a more private person than I have never been in my entire life. Maybe it's just time passing and changing me.

The fact is that when there are people who are alone, get frustrated, mad, can not stand, do stupid things ... I do not. We are in December, and now I see that all the changes that have occurred since January, were necessary and somehow beneficial. I love people. I like being around people, and it hardly will change one day, but now I've learned to live alone and I do not despair of it. I learned to accept loneliness as something that eventually happens or becomes a way of life ... That made me more independent, more sure of myself as a person and gave me even more sure that in life, we just have to ourselves. We can only rely entirely on ourselves, we can only believe and fully trust in ourselves. We are all we have. And by Amazingly, I'm not seeing this as something totally bad after all, there are people who can not rely on yourself. Perhaps it is self-sufficiency.

This year was a drug in many respects, but not that. I'll always have my bad days, like everyone else, but right now, I really feel good. Do not know if that's good or bad, but I am becoming independent in the extreme. All persons are unpredictable ... Family, friends, everybody ... I am unpredictable, but with an unexpected deal that I know. And I've been feeling quite hopeful lately. I mean, even with everything that happened this year I'm still here, determined. How strong I become? There were things I always feared, things I always thought it would not last, but here I am more at peace with myself than ever. Everything can work out at any time, this is what flashes in my head all the time.

Do not misunderstand, it's not like suddenly I had decided to become an old maid and bitter, is not it. As I said before, I love being surrounded by people but right now, I just decided to accept the loneliness that was imposed on me throughout this year and I do not care anymore. For a long time, I thought the people I loved were all I had, and now I see that even if you have a thousand people in your life, if you're not yourself, if you are not good about yourself, if you do not like the company itself, the thousand people mean nothing. No use to cling to someone or "someones" in an attempt to feel good. Sometimes people remain, but most of the time, all follow his path, and in the end, each one has oneself.

Another lesson I learned this year: Life remains beautiful even if you are alone. You just need to strive to see the beauty of things, you just need to live as you want, any way you want. We create our reality from a mold tax. If you can remove the fog of despair from your eyes to be alone, you can see a bright moon and infinite.

Right now I feel another person. And maybe I am.